#5 | Learn to Say I Love You

The concept might seem very simple on the surface. Dig a little deeper and you will find that it is still simple. However, there is a lack of authentic I love you(s) floating around. It’s not that we don’t say I love you enough. This is not a quantitative issue; it is a qualitative issue. When you look at your “loved” one with the same blank face you give the coffee barista and tell them “I love you” in a monotone voice while staring at their chin, YOU ARE SENDING MIXED SIGNALS. Of you love them; they KNOW that. But as humans, we want to FEEL that. When people FEEL loved they are likely to experience hate free days filled with blissful encounters. So, along with inflecting a loving tone in your voice and NOT looking at your lover as if they owe you a coffee that you already paid, for, try telling them you love them in a different language. They will be surprised that you took the effort and you will both be catapulted into harmonious states of being. Ahhhhh!

I Love You (Study Guide)

Chinese : 我爱你
Dutch : ik houd van u
French : je t’aime
German : ich liebe dich
Greek : Αγαπη
Italian : ti amo
Korean : 사랑해요
Portuguese: eu te amo
Russian : я тебя люблю
Spanish : te amo

#4 | Discover Strongbad

If you have not experienced the web-series , Strong Bad Emails , from homestar runner you have missed a cultural experience. This fascinating animation is almost a guarantee to make you forget why you were hatin’. The website might as well be called www.hatelossforyourbuttocks.com. The Guitar episode is timeless. The Helium episode also has great hate loss potential. It is important to remember that hate loss facilitators can come in infinite forms. Once we begin to recognize the nouns (people, places, or things) that reduce hate for us (as individuals) it is essential to make note of these things. It is inevitable that we will have low points of negativity and just downright dumpiness. One of the keys to living a hate free life is being able to take yourself out of a negative state of mind. Next time you feel yourself feeling superb, try to identify what is contributing to this blissful state. Sometimes it’s a situation that you can recreate; sometimes it isn’t. If it is, add it to the list of things to do when you are feeling negative (use the list).

Hate Loss™ Reminder - On the road to hate loss it is vital to remember that watching Strongbad (guitar episode especially) is 100% hate-proof.

#3 | Walk Your Pretend Dog

If when you saw the title you said to yourself, “Why would I walk my pretend dog when I have a real dog?”, don’t worry, I can explain. First of all, when it comes to authentic hate loss, walking your real dog is not a sure bet. There are too many variables. Many times the idea may seem to be a relaxing and perhaps invigorating experience; but then somewhere along the strut you end up frustrated and a victim of hate gain. In those moments of frustration, you probably didn’t tell your dog, “[Insert name here], I just wish you were pretend”. Why would you? I am here to tell you that pretend dogs are WAY underrated. The reason why we should opt for walking a pretend dog from time to time is that it guarantees hate loss. It’s also pretty damn fun when you get the rhythm down.

PREPARATION
First of all: If you have a dog, go ahead and fill their love tank. Scratch their belly; fondle their ears and do whatever else you do that makes your dog look at you with those goo-goo eyes. This should offset or at least ease the pain that they will feel when they see you walk out of the house without them. Just explain to your dog that you are trying to lose some hate; dogs are very intelligent, they will surely understand.

ACTIVITY
Okay, this is where it gets fun! Start out on a leisurely stroll and make sure you act like you are walking a dog. Be a mime. Don’t half-ass it! Put your back into it! Don’t worry if people are looking at you funny. Just smile! Anyways, their probably not even hip to the whole pretend dog phenomenon yet. This is a great time to pretend you have any dog your mind can conjure up. Maybe it’s a Chihuahuabull; perhaps it’s a Dobermoodle. You don’t have to go as far as getting the whiplash that you might incur if you were actually walking a Chihuahuabull, but you may experience minor hate loss from flailing around a little bit. This is completely up to your discretion. This is bottom line about walking your pretend dog: It is IMPOSSIBLE to possess unhealthy levels of hate while walking your pretend dog. Trust me on this one. THIS IS A GO-TO MOVE. This is Michael Jordan’s fade-away. This is Obama’s “Change” speech; this is McCain’s war credibility; this is President Bush’s… I actually don’t know what George’s go to move is. Hmm. Well, you get the point. This Hate Loss Tip will be there for you in your darkest moments. If for some reason you are not ready to embark on a pretend dog walk, a nice consolation is saying dobermoodle 5 fives very fast.

Hate Loss™ Reminder - On the road to hate-reduction it is vital to remember that walking your pretend dog is 100% hate-proof.

#2 | Get Some “Foot-Love”

Let’s get real. How often you get your feet rubbed on (the right way; with oil and all that good stuff)? I don’t care if the answer to this is everyday. That’s still NOT enough. C’mon, we’re talking about the bottom feeders of the human body. Your feet! We’re talking about your dogs! On the real, there is no part of our body that receives any more hate than our feet. There is no way around this, so we must go into operation offset mode with some “foot-love”. When I think about feet, I get a little sad. No joke. Sometimes I get nauseous, but that’s a different story. People! Love your feet. They are taking the brunt of your physical existence down there. When was the last time you asked your feet how they’re doing? That’s what I thought…
Now, you could definitely take your own paws and start rub-a-dub-dubbin’ on your own feet, but that is not that idea here. You need to get yourself in a situation where you are exerting very little, if any, energy while your feet get some good ole’ fashion love. Yes, this means that you turn the ringer off and keep your hands off that magazine you love even though you know you probably shouldn’t. Just relax! This is not about you; it’s about your feet this time.

Ladies (and some men): Go a serene spa, or “pedicure store” for a Pedi and ask for the extra foot-love. I mean that literally! Ask them, “May I please have some extra foot-love?” This way there will be absolutely no confusion about what you are seeking. Unless of course you happen to speak different languages, it could be terribly confusing, awkward and maybe even culturally unacceptable. Okay, you might have to make a game-time decision on the lingo (try to work in “foot-love” if you can). Don’t even ask how much more it will cost. When was the last time you said, “My feet have never felt this good before”? Yep. You are not alone there. I’ve never once even uttered these words, but I would like to. I would like to be saying that right now! The goal is to achieve a feeling of foot bliss that will elicit words such as, “ahhh”, “ooooh” and “whoa now!” While you’re at it, get a nice warm and happy tone for those toes to put the finishing touches on your “foot-love” experience.

Fellas: I know that a lot of men already stopped reading, frantically looking for that little house button on the top of the browser, hoping they will be taken to a place of comfort. If this is NOT you, kudos to you my friend! Keep it up; you are in short supply these days. Let’s cut to the skinny. You can take the aforementioned route toward “foot-love” and just leave out the “warm and happy tone for those toes”. Make no mistake about it; you can leave it in there (“and some men”). Let’s get real here; your feet probably need the “works” bro. Get those toenails clipped, filed, buffed and polished. Just get those dogs cleaned up (Note: nauseous moment). Don’t forget to ask for the extra “foot love” though. Ladies are more likely to experience “foot love” with some regularity than you are, so it really is imperative that you make it a priority to seek some “foot love”.

Note: At this time there is no such thing as a “foot -love” widget, so I am afraid that you will have to leave your computer for this Hate Loss™ technique.

Hate Loss™ Reminder – On the road to hate loss it is vital to remember that getting some “foot-love” is 100% hate-proof.

#1 | Lay Down in the Park

ACTIVITY
Don’t bring a blanket. Don’t start hatin’ if the weather isn’t perfect. Just go down to your favorite park and put your cakes on the nicest chunk of grass you can spot. Continue this gravitational progression until you’re your body is completely horizontal. Now all you have left to do is lie on your back and gaze into the sky. The sky-gazing technique is designed to help release the inevitable frustrations of daily life at ground level. At this point, any hate should go into dissipation mode. If it is raining, make sure you have your rain goggles handy.

PREPARATION
If you don’t have a favorite park, this is a problem. Option 1: For the good of humanity, please walk away from your screen immediately and go find one. Option 2: If for some concerning reason you have never noticed an appealing park in your area, you can also open a new browser tab and Google search “Parks [insert your city here]”. This is a particularly nice option for the increasing percentage of humans who are more comfortable opening a new tab than walking. Anywhere.

Hate Loss™ Reminder – On the road to hate loss it is vital to remember that laying down in the park is 100% hate-proof.